The Aftermath of an Affair | URBANETTE Magazine

Learning that your partner has had an affair is one of the worst experiences a person could have, and about 65% of the time it ends the relationship. Affairs break the foundation of trust and honesty between the couples, and to some the trust is impossible to repair. But, truth be told, not all affairs will end in separation; recovery can be possible if the heart is strong enough to accept it.

The Aftermath

In the months after the affair, the emotional and mental turmoil to both partners will surely reach its peak. The sense of anger and betrayal felt by the cheated partner will definitely make rational thinking almost impossible. The guilt and remorse of the cheating partner might end up scarring them, and may make both people begin to loose hope of getting the lost trust back.

But this doesn?t have to be the case; if we let our emotions get the better of us then we might just as well throw everything out the window and forget everything. This kind of attitude will definitely lead to separation and forever losing the intimacy and romance that was once shared.

Recovery

The first step after the affair is recovery.?Both parties must be determined enough to give each other a chance at the relationship.

The first step of recovery is to totally end the affair; this includes cutting all ties with the person you had the affair with. This means communicating with them and letting them understand that you want to end it. Make sure that you block them on email, chat and Facebook, and tie up loose ends or you might be experiencing a lot of irritations from that person during the recovery stage.

The second step is the recovery of the cheated partner. He or she must cope with the anger and betrayal that has grown within their heart. They have to realize that all these ugly emotions will not be productive if they mean to recover from this situation. Once they gain complete control over their feelings, then they?ll be able to think straight and rationalize the situation clearly.

Honesty and Trust

The honesty and trust that serve as the foundation of the relationship was definitely broken during and after the affair. Once the crown of lies has been worn, the scars will never go away. It is true that after recovery between the couple, trust must be rebuilt in order to give the relationship a chance.

For the cheating partner, they must fully apologize for their betrayal. They must be sincere or else everything that you have worked for will come to naught. The cheated partner must come to grips with their emotions and accept the apology, keeping in mind the bond that was shared before the affair. It?s time to give trust a chance to mend the broken love.

Communication

Although affairs often happen simply because one partner was selfish, there is occasionally a reason why a partner will resort to having an affair. There may be something lacking in the relationship that they choose to look for it in another person. Both have to look into themselves and realize their contribution to the situation. It?s never the cheated partner?s?fault, so don?t let anyone convince you of that. Cheating is a cowardly action; one which has no real justification.?Each has to open the line of communication and share everything, from the smallest problem to the biggest issues concerning the relationship. Everything must be brought out into the open.

It?s important for the cheating partner to realize that trust will not be easy to earn back. They must give double effort in proving that they have truly mended their ways. The person must not give any reason for their partner to doubt them ? their actions, responses, routines and commitment; all have to be taken into consideration for the love relationship to mend.

May It Never Happen Again?

To avoid this situation in the future, the cheated partner must realize that there may be some things lacking in the relationship hence the reason for the affair. Both people must take time to communicate their need to their partner as to make sure that everything is provided and future affairs are avoided.

Recovery after an affair is truly a very hard thing to do. Rebuilding the trust which took months or years to build is not an easy task. Both individuals must give double effort into communication, trust and, most of all, acceptance for their relationship to work. The upside is that all relationships go through ups and downs, and if you can get through them as a couple, you just might find yourselves on the other side, even stronger than before.

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Source: http://www.urbanette.com/the-aftermath-of-an-affair/

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